So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
