I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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