at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
