Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize