8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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