I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
should my penis look like a turkey
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
