Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
