so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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