well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
