Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
