I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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