why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
