C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
