She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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