he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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