Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
