You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
