how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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