do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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