You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
