she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
