the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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