He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
