God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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