You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Randomize
