IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
