When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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