goodnight i made you a song goodbye
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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