I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
