he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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