How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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