FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
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did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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