This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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