Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
