Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
