Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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