cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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