lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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