Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
