I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
4 words: hood of his car
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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