the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
