Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
