I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
