He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize