before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
