maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize