On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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