DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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