So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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