he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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