Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize