My room smells like vodka and shame
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
