i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
