He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize