She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
