Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
