I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Who died my cat blue again?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
